so apparently i can’t get pregnant because i’m a boy or something?? wtf
don’t let people force their beliefs on you
mom: i made cookies!!
where do gifs like this even come from? the pits of hell?
i spend 3/4 of my time calling my boyfriend gay
greetings, friend, i am an adult male in a homosexual relationship.
My grandfather got suspended from Catholic school for referring to Jesus Christ and the twelve apostles as J.C. and the Boys.
the great thing about coffee: it cures exhaustion at 11 pm and enables you to write a bomb ass paper
The bad thing about coffee: it’s now 3 am and the only thing I want to do is cha cha real smooth
i cant believe caffeine was the only drug i was on when i wrote this
ok but seriously my favourite prehistoric animal is definitely andrewsarchus
THEIR JAW WAS A METER LONG
LOOK AT THAT SIZE COMPARISON
BUT THAT’S NOT THE BEST BIT
YOU SEE THEIR CLOSEST LIVING RELATIVES AREN’T BEARS
THEIR CLOSEST LIVING RELATIVES
- Customer: *grabs my ass*
- Me: *turns around and holds my hand out for money* you touch it you buy it
- Customer: Haha nope, all I did was grab your ass babe
- Me: and you think it's okay to do that for free? Would you do that to a girl on the street?
- Customer: Well a girl on the street wouldn't be dressed like that, would she?
- Me: So if a girl on the street was wearing lingerie you'd grab her ass? Clothing equals consent for you?
- Customer: Um, ye- no *laughs nervously*
- Customers friend: ya know, you kinda have to pay her now or you're admitting to sexual assault, don't be a dick
- Customer: *reluctantly hands me $20*
- I later found out that he is a cop. Great, that's the sort of person I want defending and protecting me
Who taught me to suck in my stomach,
or my cheeks?
Who told me to stand with my legs apart
and my hips thrust back
to create the illusion of a gap
between my thighs?
Who made me believe that the most beautiful part of me
is my negative space?